I know you are wondering. Who is foil boy? Well let me tell you. A long time ago in an office that feels so far away, evil appeared. This evil threatened to destroy the office's peaceful way of life. The evil had a name and it was Scott. We knew Scott was evil because he had a goatee. That was pretty much it. Other than the goatee Scott was pretty cool and mellow but there was no denying the evil that was the goatee. So a ragtag group of rebels led the charge on a strike against Scott while he was on vacation. The rebels drove to Jewel-Osco and bought a shitload of foil. Over a four hour period all the foil was put up in Scott's office. Walls were covered from ceiling to floor. Chairs, coat racks, coats, business card holders, business cards, desks, pens....everything, and I mean everything was covered in foil. When finished Scott's office was ten degrees hotter than the rest of the office and caused instant vertigo. The rebels were pleased.
Scott's goatee came back to work to be vanquished by the rebels awesome display of foil application. All rejoiced while Scott collected the foil off the floor, ceiling and everywhere else. Scott used that foil to mold a foil man. As we stood there a bolt of lightning hit the foil man throwing it into the corner. We all soon realized what had happened. Foil Boy was born! After that it's pretty simple. Foil Boy stayed with Scott until he left the office. At that point custody of Foil Boy was given to me but Michelle stole him from me. It's not so important who Michelle is, it's more important that we all know she stole....kidnapped Foil Boy. But in Foil Boy's best interest I decided to let him stay with Michelle as he seemed happy.
So that's the completely accurate and true story of Foil Boy as best I can remember it. But today, Foil Boy has come home. He began life as a prank in my hands and not he's come back to me. A truly great day. I love you Foil Boy.
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