1000% Superglue

Last night my little sister gave me my birthday present, my birthday is on Tuesday. She got me a bottle of Allagash Black. I'm pretty excited to try it, should be good.

But the real surprise was a can of 100% organic, free-range, cage free unicorn meat. It's definitely healthy. It has 100% daily value of magic, smiles, stars and a bunch of other good stuff. How often do you find one food that has 200% rainbows? How can this not be good for me?